My Life as a Country Song – Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off, Joe Nichols
She might come home in a table cloth – Ya tequila makes her clothes fall off
Now, I won’t go that far, I have never come home in a table cloth, but tequila – let’s just say that tequila and I had one hot date and that was enough for me for life.
The story goes – I was living in London, and my 20th birthday was coming up. I was taking a trip to Belgium for my birthday, but the night before I left my friends all decided to take me out to celebrate. Now, in England, the drinking age is 18, and having moved there when I was 19, I didn’t have any experience with alcohol. I had had a couple of glasses of wine, a pint or two of cider since I had been there, but that’s it.
My friend, Marc, wanted to buy me a drink for my birthday. We were at a local bar on a Wednesday night, so we had no problem getting service when we went up to the bar. “What’ll you have?”
Me, not knowing much about alcohol at all, but not wanting to look like a fool, left it up to the bartender. “It’s my birthday, what would you recommend?”
“You say Birthday, I hear tequila.” Those words will live in infamy. Marc looked at me and I said, sure! So we ordered two shots of tequila. He described to me what I should do with the salt and lemon – or was it sugar and lime. I don’t remember. I had had a vodka shot once – I figured it all was pretty much the same.
It wasn’t my fault. No one warned me. I didn’t know that tequila was not Vodka. I didn’t know that it was acid in a digestible form. No sooner did I open my mouth and pour the shot in, it was gone – not down my throat, but in the bartender’s face. The look was even more acidic than the tequila. No words were needed. Even in a relatively empty bar – his finger immediately pointed towards the door. Marc and I, along with the rest of my friends, were no longer welcome there.
Tequila has not touched my lips since then. Just like the woman in the story, it does something strange to me, and I’d rather not risk it!
Related posts:
