Road Rage

I’ll admit it, I have road rage.  No, I’m not pulling out a loaded pistol to shoot someone on the road, but I do give people who can’t hear me an earful when I’m driving.  A few months ago I moved and gained with that move a three day a week commute that, on a good day, is an hour and a half one way.  No good for road rage.  The following are the different kinds of drivers who cook my grits:

1. Bill Slowsky – this is the driver who drives slower than the speed limit on a consistent basis, with no regard for those around him.  Sometimes he is kind enough to keep to the slow lane, but many don’t care about that either.  When I try to rationalize his actions, I think perhaps he is just trying to be safe, but the fact of the matter is – when you’re going 50 in a 65, you are not being safe – you are causing more danger!  At least go the speed limit!
2. Leftist – not to be confused with politics, the Leftist is the guy who MUST be in the left lane.  Is he driving faster than those in the other lanes?  NO!  Is there any reason for him to be in the left lane other than that is his preference?  NO!  There is a simple concept of drive on the right, pass on the left.  If you’re not passing anyone and you’re in the left lane GET THE HECK OVER.
3. Braker Braker One-Niner – The woman who brakes for no reason on the highway.  She is driving along at a leisurely pace and suddenly, she brakes.  Why?  Did she just realize she was going two miles an hour over the speed limit?  She should try just slowing down – works every time.  Does she not realize that there are people behind her, and tapping her breaks will cause a chain reaction of other people also braking and she will cause a traffic jam?  No?  I didn’t think so.
4. Kisser – I’m a married woman, people, so no kissing – and that means you can’t kiss my bumper, too.  If I could get over to let you pass, I would.  But I can’t.  I can’t even speed up because there is someone in front of me.  Getting as close to me as you humanly can isn’t going to make me go faster, but it very well may cause an accident.  I know you need to get to your destination 7 seconds quicker than if you didn’t ride my tail, but if you cause an accident, that is really going to put a dent in both our days – and our cars.

The truth is, I could go on and on – but the fact of the matter is, there are a lot of bad drivers out there.  When I think about it, though, I’m probably on someone else’s list – I do weave through traffic a lot and they probably find that annoying.  Oh well – stay out of my way and I’ll stay out of yours.