The Tipping Glass » Advice

Be Careful Little Fingers What You Post

Katrina — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 15:08:05 +0000

As you can see from a previous post, I’m a big fan of Facebook. However, there are some cautions which folks really need to think about when posting anything on the internet. Here are a few with which I have had first hand encounters:

1. Social Networking is no longer just for my generation. My mom is on Facebook and MySpace. So are a large number of my co-workers. As a result, things that might be acceptable in my social spheres are no longer acceptable on Facebook. For example, for awhile I had listed that I was married to my college roommate. She and I were attached at the hip at school and it was a running joke among our friends that we were an old married couple. This was fine until I started being friends with individuals who are not members of my generation. For them, they did not understand the joke and began to make assumptions about me. That is the last assumption I want people to make

2. Prospective employers are on Facebook, too. There have been several times that I have been the point person for hiring a new employee for my company. For every person whose resume makes it to my potential interview category, I always do two things – I google them and I look them up on Facebook. I can’t even count the number of people who have been eliminated from my pool of candidates because of something I found from one of those two sources. They think they are only sharing the information with their friends, but they also shared the information with me, and, as a result, lost the opportunity to interview for the job.

When you post something on the internet, be very careful about it. It doesn’t just go away when you remove it. It is saved on a server somewhere waiting to come back and haunt you someday – so just do yourself a favor. If you wouldn’t want your mother or pastor or kindergarten teacher to see something, don’t post it online.

This is an awesome post from The Tipping Glass

Be Careful Little Fingers What You Post

A Letter to Me

Katrina — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 16:10:02 +0000

I’m a big country music fan. Last night as I was making the drive from Pittsburgh to Baltimore, I listened to a song I’ve heard a million times before, but this time it got me thinking. The song is called Letter to Me, and it is by Brad Paisley. In the song he talks about all the things he would tell himself if he could write a letter to his 17 year old self.

It got me thinking about what I would write to my 17 year old self. It may only be 7 years ago, but a lot has changed since then. This is what I came up with.

1. Just be you. It’s who you do best. If you feel like you have to be someone different around certain people for them to accept you, they aren’t worth your time. The people who love you the best are the ones who love you for you.

2. Cut your hair. Seriously, it has gotten out of hand and you’ll love short hair so much more. Hair down to your butt is not really attractive.

3. Don’t worry so much about guys. You’re constantly on the lookout for potential boyfriends, and you find that the whole process is nothing but frustrating. That’s because you’re too young and by not dating the wrong guys, you won’t end up with your heart broken. Eventually you’ll meet that one right guy, and then it will just happen naturally.

4. Your parents are right far more often than you think. Listen to them, they are actually really smart. (Yes mom and dad, I actually think this – whether you think I do or not!)

That’s my list. Let’s make this one an interactive one. If you could write a letter to yourself at the age of 17, what would you say?

This is an awesome post from The Tipping Glass

A Letter to Me

It was meant to be!

Katrina — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 18:53:23 +0000

I have come to the realization with many of my friends that our friendship simply was meant to be. If that was not the case, there is no way we would be friends today.

Here are a few examples:

Joshy. Also a writer for the Tipping Glass, Josh and I met in September 2005. The only thing is, he does not remember that meeting. He was so focused on some other chick that the fact that I even existed escaped him. It wasn’t until about three months later that we began to get to know one another, and when his midnight phone call was the only redeeming factor about my launch into 2006 – a year which became one of the best of my life – we became great friends and have been ever since.

Sarah. My brother hooked Sarah and I up as roommates for my senior year of college. Our first meeting was pretty much the most awkward situation I have ever experienced. We both thought we were going to be miserable, but there was no way out. Every conversation we had for a whole summer was torture. Then, after no more than 48 hours living together, we realized that our mutual awkwardness was actually the catalyst which would catapult us into a kind of friendship we had never experienced.

Ben. I can count at least 3 if not 4 very awkward and strange situations Ben and I experienced together before we became friends. From a conversation where neither of us remembered the other one but we both thought the other one knew us, to a long and strange dance at Ghostriders, most would say we would never be friends. One conversation turned it all around, and after that – until I met my husband, I’m pretty sure everyone we knew thought we were dating.

Brittany. She was to be one of my roommates freshman year, and we both thought that the third, Kathryn, was going to be awesome but we were sure that we would hate each other. The first day of school revealed that we were dead wrong – Brittany and I hit it off immediately, and Kathryn was a bit on the strange side. Neither of us have heard from Kathryn (whose initials happened to be KKK) since she moved out two weeks into the semester, but Brittany sang at my wedding.

So, the moral of the story is, don’t assume that your first impression about someone is correct. Sometimes friendships blossom rather than hit you square in the nose.

This is an awesome post from The Tipping Glass

It was meant to be!

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The Wedding Industrial Complex

Katrina — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 22:13:09 +0000

Before I was engaged, I heard of a bride who was rebelling against the, “wedding industrial complex” – sending out evites rather than actual invitations, having her reception at a brewery, passing out drink tokens rather than having an open bar, registering at Amazon.com rather than a brick and mortar store, etc. I didn’t really understand her point of view until I planned my own wedding and began coming into contact with more brides.

It is true – little girls dream of their wedding day from an early age, wearing pillow cases as veils and their mothers’ shoes in mock weddings. The commercial world knows this, and has capitalized on it – BIG TIME. Everything is more expensive when a wedding is involved. If you call a reception hall and tell them you’re having a retirement party, you’ll be quoted one price – if it is a wedding, it is another price which is much higher. Invitations for a housewarming party are twenty cents a piece, but invitations for a wedding are a dollar a piece.

And brides have taken it – hook, line and sinker. Media tells us that we need to have a “Platinum Wedding” and that we should “Say Yes to the Dress.” You are the princess for the day, and you are the only one who matters. As long as THE BRIDE feels beautiful and everything is as THE BRIDE would want it, it is perfect. What does this result in? The bride spending much more money on things that she cares about, and others get the shaft.

What about the groom? What about the guests? Our society is experiencing a wave of women who don’t care about anyone but themselves on their wedding day. What a great way to start a marriage – selfishly planning a huge wedding which will cost over $20K and ONLY thinking of yourself. It is NOT just your day – it is the groom’s day as well. And the guests deserve consideration, after all, they are giving you gifts and some have even traveled long distances to be there.

Brides need to get back to what really matters – at the end of the day, whether she was wearing a $5,000 dress or a $500 dress, whether the invitations had gold leaf or were printed at Kinkos, whether you spent $20,000 or $2,000, you are married to the man of your dreams and you can begin your life together. Don’t begin your marriage by being a bridezilla and putting yourself into debt because you had to have your “platinum wedding.”

This is an awesome post from The Tipping Glass

The Wedding Industrial Complex

The Art of the Blind Date

Katrina — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 15:03:17 +0000

There’s a reason why they call a date with someone you don’t know a Blind Date. You really have no idea what you’re going to get. Hopefully, if you were set up by a friend, you can have a little confidence that it won’t be a disaster, but too often you don’t even have a smidge of assurance to go on that this won’t be a complete disaster.

I went on a few blind dates in my single days – from Andy the normal accountant who was also quite boring, to Hyman (yes, that’s his real name) the gorgeous Puerto Rican who had amazing salsa moves, but pretty much no conversation skills, to Ernie the illegal Mexican immigrant who ate my dessert at dinner.

Some were successes, some were disasters. Below are my words of advice for those who are going to venture into the blind date world.

Be careful who you let set you up. Ernie was my friend’s husband’s idea, and clearly he found humor more important in the match up than actually compatibility – or even a common language.
Meet in a public area. This goes more for women, but you guys also never know what kind of creeps are out there. Telling someone you don’t know where you live is a BIG mistake.
Keep it simple. Coffee is best. Maybe dinner, but definitely not dinner and a movie or anything which requires the whole evening. If it is good, you can always extend the date. If it is bad, you don’t want to have obligations.
Always have an out. You’ve seen it on TV, and it works. Your date supposed to start at 7:00, so you arrange to have a friend call at 7:45. When that friend calls, you can either ignore the call or use it as an opportunity to get the heck out of dodge. Susie’s grandmother died. Dave broke up with his girlfriend. Whatever. There is a crisis and you are needed anywhere but on your date right now. Get off the phone and politely explain to your date that you have to go. And, no, it isn’t cruel – having to go through a mismatched date is bad for both of you. This works for men and women – I’ve been out with a guy who clearly had an out, too.
Don’t expect anything. You don’t know what you’re going to get, so keep your expectations low. If it is really bad, you aren’t too disappointed, and you’ll survive the event. If it is good, you’ll be pleasantly surprise.

This is an awesome post from The Tipping Glass

The Art of the Blind Date

Operation: Homeownership

Joshy C — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:43:45 +0000

As a new homeowner with very little handyman skills, I knew I was entering a world of pain when I decided to rehab my kitchen and turn my basement into a media room. Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way.

1. Think BIG, Finish Small

You are only limited by time and money. You can do anything you want, and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. When you first walk through your project, let nothing limit your imagination. Go crazy! Blow that wall out! Put the skylight in the ceiling! French doors, hardwood floors, raised ceiling? No problem!

Once you have your absolute dream room figured out, go tell someone about it. Go through all the things you’re gonna do to the smallest detail. When you say it outloud, you’re gonna realize how crazy it sounds. Build a garage from scratch with a deck for the roof that has a 12-person hot tub in the middle? What was I THINKING!

After you calm down, you’ll have a level head and will be able to think clearly. Do another walk- through, and this time the ceiling height looks just fine. Carpet would be great down here. And that French door…That’s still gonna happen.

2. The Triple/Double Rule

What the experts say: Before you begin any project, the logical step is to figure out how much everything is going to cost. A lot of places will tell you to add 10% to the final figure, and that will cover any unexpected overages. Then set a schedule up so you can achieve milestones at certain times to stay on track.

My own experience: I’m here to tell you that’s a load of crap. Figure out how much you think it’s going to cost, and then double it. Then figure out how long you think it’s gonna take, and triple it. Then you’re in a much more real state of mind. My weekend kitchen rehab turned into a 6 week overhaul. I went from laminate floors to Italian porcelain because it had the same name as my last name.

3. SAFETY FIRST!

Depending on the project, absolutely take precautions to keep all your fingers, eyeballs, ears, and lungs intact. If you’re ever demolition walls or a ceiling, WEAR A MASK! I tore out all the walls and existing ceiling in my basement without a mask, and ended up with a 104 degree fever from inhaling mold and asbestos. You might not be able to see it, but it’s there. If you’re ever doing any work where dust particles are floating around (cutting wood or cement, breaking things, or even sweeping the floor) wear a mask. They cost $2 at Home Depot and make a world of difference. Waking up with burning lungs the next morning is not fun.

4. You can do it!

You can learn how to do anything online these days. I learned how to tile a floor and a fireplace by going on do-it-yourself websites. It’s intimating, frustrating, and messy, but you can save over 50% of the cost of your projects by doing things yourself. You’ll be surprised what you can accomplish with the right tools and some courage.

On the other side, however, there are certain things you should not try to do yourself. The best question you should ask is, “If I screw this up, how easy is it to fix?” Painting? Put on another coat. Refinishing hardwood floors? Buy new hardwood floors. It’s not worth it to rent a sander and buffer and try to give new life to your hardwood floors. Pay someone else to do it.

Another phrase you should remember is: “If you do it right, nobody notices. If you do it wrong, everybody notices.” This applies to laying fitted carpet, and finishing drywall. When you look at your walls, do you see a smooth, constant surface? When you look at your carpet, do you see seams?

5. Do an inventory of tools, then friends

You’re gonna be able to do a lot of stuff yourself, but the condition is that you have the right tools. Over time, you’ll accumulate a lot of tools in your life. But when you’re a new homeowner, the cost of purchasing everything you’ll need for a major project could blow your budget all together.

Before buying any major tool, ask your friends if they have one that you could borrow, even for a weekend. Most people have stuff laying around that they use maybe once a month. For my basement and kitchen project, I borrowed a $300 circular saw, and a $400 tile saw.

The ultimate bonus for any project is free labor. But your friends will always be busy when you need their help. It’s Murphy’s Law. Think of any friends who were in a fraternity. If they’re still in one, that’s a plus. Ask them when their pledges begin rushing. I got a truckload of wood, ceiling, garbage, and carpet hauled out of my house for the cost of 2 large pizzas. Sometimes you have to be creative.

This is an awesome post from The Tipping Glass

Operation: Homeownership

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The All-Inclusive Guide to Not Driving Like an Idiot

pratt — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 15:05:12 +0000

If there is one thing that drives me absolutely crazy, it’s idiot drivers. They ruin everything. They slow down my commute, they cause accidents and they almost kill me a few times a week. Do us all a favor, read this guide and stop driving like an idiot. Oh, and once you have – send this to all your friends so they’ll stop driving like idiots too. Thanks!

Put Your God Damned Phone Down

Look, I get it. You’re busy. You think that by multitasking while you drive, you’ll get some extra time back in you day. Well I’ve got news for you: you can’t fucking do it! You can’t. As much as you try, you end up slowing down, changing lanes without looking and you almost hit every person and car around you. Like Ellen DeGeneres said, “If it requires your eyes, feet and hands to do something, it’s generally a good idea to include your brain in on it too.” If you still have to be on the phone, at least get a Bluetooth so you’ll be slightly more aware.

Stop Being a Dick and Let Me Over

Do you really think that by not letting me merge onto the highway you are somehow saving yourself hours in your commute? When one of the lanes is suddenly closed, would it really kill you to allow me to merge into your lane? Why do you have to be such a dick and think that I am not worthy of merging into traffic? Do us all a favor, quit being a douche-bag and allow the person to merge into your lane. It will speed traffic up, cause fewer accidents and you won’t get the bird as often.

Look Away From the Light

I know flashy red and blue lights are distracting, but when they have someone pulled over or there is an accident, you don’t need to slow 40-50 mph below the speed limit just so you can see what happened. All you are doing is causing unnecessary roadblocks that may very well be preventing emergency services from doing their job. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely think you should slow down to show some caution, but not to the point where you get a good 10-15 second look at the fender bender on the side of the road!

No More Texas Exits

A Texas exit is when you are in the passing lane of a 2+ lane highway and you decide you want to exit just as the exit approaches. Even if you were in the regular lane this is an idiot move. Texas drivers routinely cross multiple lanes of traffic at the last second to barely make an exit. Either pay attention to what you are doing or take the next exit, turn around and get where you need to go the safe way. I should my life be threatened because you are an idiot and weren’t paying attention.

At Least Go the Speed Limit

I have no idea why you feel the need to go 10mph under the speed limit. Maybe you hate your family and don’t want to go home. Maybe you just don’t care how long it takes you to get somewhere. I don’t know. What I do know is, I don’t give a shit so at least drive the fucking speed limit! I do have some place to be, and I do want to get there before the next Presidential election. So quit being such a selfish prick and speed up!

For the Love of God, Use Your Turn Signal

I know it takes a ton of effort to flip your blinker on, and I don’t want to strain you, but believe or not – I’m not clairvoyant. I have no idea that you are about to turn into that gas station and it is ok for me to turn onto the main highway. I have no idea that in the next 10 yards you plan to turn. Oh, and while I’m thinking about it: you don’t need to come to a complete STOP in order to turn. If you’re going to turn, then TURN! Is it really that hard? That’s what she said.

I have about 10 more things you can do to stop driving like an idiot, but I worry that if I tell you them all now, nothing will change. Take these six pieces of advice and do the world a favor: follow them. In the words of the great George Carlin: Anyone who drives slower than me is an idiot, and anyone who drives faster than me is a maniac. Truer words have never been spoken.

This is an awesome post from The Tipping Glass

The All-Inclusive Guide to Not Driving Like an Idiot

How to Buy a New Toyota Under Invoice Price

pratt — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 19:28:54 +0000

Three weeks ago my wife and I realized we needed to buy her a new car before it was too late. She was driving a 2003 Ford Focus with only about 47,000 miles on it. The problem was it was in an accident and was never properly cared for. That happened back when we lived in Pittsburgh and thanks to all the salt on the roads up there, the car was suffering from a severe rust problem.

She had done a ton of research as to what type of car she wanted, and she ended up deciding on a Toyota Rav4. The reason I singled out Toyota for this post is because it should be pretty easy to get a car under invoice from a struggling automaker like Chrysler or Saturn. Toyota had suffered their first loss in (I think) 40 years. Even with the loss, they were nowhere near as desperate as the other manufacturers.

Buying a car is a fun game, and my first piece of advice for you is to remember it is just a game. We negotiated the car down to $500 under invoice, and I’d like to share with you all my negotiation strategies to do just that.

Do your research. You’re going to need to be well prepared for the negotiation, so start doing some research online. Figure out exactly what car and amenities you want. Once you have both of those figured out, head over to Edmunds and do an invoice lookup. The invoice price is the price of the price the dealer paid to purchase the car from the manufacturer (in my case, Toyota). Make sure you add in all of the amenities that you plan on getting with the vehicle. This will help you get as close to the actual invoice price as possible. Remember, this isn’t going to be 100% right, and I recommend you check other websites as well. Edmunds ended up being the most accurate for me.

It is also important for you to know that the invoice price might not actually be the price the dealer paid for the car. Manufacturers sometimes offer them rebates and other discounts. Still, this is going to be your main negotiation point.

Ok, let’s fast forward to after you’ve test driven the car and found the one you want. It’s negotiation time. Brace yourself for some hilarious excuses, and remind yourself that you are in control. Not them. They need you a hell of a lot more then you need them.

State your price and stick to it. Remember all of that research you did? Now’s the time to put it to use. State the price you want (in my case, I requested $500 under the invoice price I had found), and prepare for instant rejection! The first thing they’ll say is “Absolutely not. Not that car. There is no way I can sell that car for that price.” They’ll wait for you to say the next word, and just reply “that is all I’m willing to pay.” Use the following strategies to fend off his attacks.

Don’t mention a trade-in. If you’re planning on trading in a car, don’t let them know that. By letting them know you have a trade-in, they’ll try and adjust the price of the car you want by using your trade-in as leverage. For example, if you are shooting for a $25,000 price tag, and they are offering the vehicle at $27,000, they will just say they can give you $2,000 for your trade in and all will be good. What really happens is that you get screwed by them because you can talk them down to your price and then get your trade-in money off of that price. You should know, though, that no matter what you will get screwed on your trade-in. I recommend selling it yourself, you’ll definitely maximize your value that way. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, try using CarMax, I hear they give very fair prices for trade-ins.

Don’t show your cards. Avoid any and all questions regarding monthly payments. This is another trap the dealer is laying down. If the dealer brings up monthly payments during your negotiations, tell them you only want to discuss the overall price, you aren’t interested in discussing monthly payments just yet. The reason they want to know what you were thinking about is because they will tweak your interest rate, the length of your loan and anything else they can do to get your payments where you want them while not touching the price.

Tell them you’ll buy it right now. Dealers love a quick sale. If you go home to think about it, there’s a good chance they might lose you. Tell them that what you are offering is a quick way to get another car off their lot for a fair price. Be clear that you will buy the car right now if they can meet your price expectations.

Threaten to leave. The last thing they want you to do is leave. I guarantee they will pull out the excuse that no one will sell you that car for that price. Thank them and say that you’re going to look around and see if someone can meet your price. Whenever they pull out another excuse, just follow it up with “ok, well I guess I’ll have to look around and see what else I can find. Thanks for your time.” Before you know it, the manager will be on his way to negotiate you. And that’s just what you want.

Beat the manager. At this point, you might be getting nervous and will want to adjust your price. That’s fine, if you only adjust it by $50 and don’t go any higher than that. When the manager comes out to negotiate with you, say that you’ll do it for $50 more than you told the dealer originally, and say that’s as far as you can go. Again, when all else fails, threaten to leave. Remind the manager you are willing to buy the car right now if they can meet your needs.

Once they have finally offered you a price you are comfortable with, bring up the trade-in (if you decide to sell it to them). The key to successfully negotiating the price of your new car is to not be a dick. You need to be someone they like and respect. Don’t become arrogant, and they will want to keep negotiating. This is a game for them, too, remember.

Finally, you might not end up walking out of there with the car. Stick to your threat and actually leave if a deal can’t be made. If that’s the case, don’t be afraid to email other local dealers and get their feel on the price. They might be able to meet your requirements. Also, take a look at nearby cities. They might be willing to ship the car, and you might be able to save enough money where it would be beneficial for you to drive all the way out there to get the car. Keep your options open and above all, stay patient.

This is an awesome post from The Tipping Glass

How to Buy a New Toyota Under Invoice Price

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Steve Stabbed the Guy!

Joshy C — Fri, 29 May 2009 19:27:02 +0000

We’ve all been there. You’re with a group of people, out having a good time… and that annoying couple that always holds hands everywhere they go start telling the story of how they met. Or you’re at a party and a coworker starts rambling about the benefits that the new HP Laserjet 4200 has over its predecessor. Or your girlfriend won’t stop yapping about the secretary at work who wore the wrong shoes with her outfit that day.

Your eyes glaze over, your mind wanders, and all you can think about is how you can get out of there while still being polite and not seem like a jackass.

But consider this……Have you ever been “that guy”? The one who rambles on and on about something nobody cares about? You have your arm around your girlfriend, telling a group of friends some cute story about how her nose wrinkles up when she laughs? Usually you’re too caught up in yourself that you don’t notice the sleepy eyes and bored faces of those around you.

Unfortunately, sometimes you do realize that you’ve become the dull conversationalist. When everyone wishes you would start choking, or die, or that a midget riding a pot-bellied pig while juggling kittens would wander into the room to distract them. This is where you have a few options.

First off, you could just accept the fact that you’re a dull, lackluster, uninspiring human being. Continue telling your story. Who cares if they don’t find it interesting? I think I’m enlightening, so they are the ones with something wrong with them.

Second, you could end the conversation, and just stop talking altogether. This seems like the best option. Cut your losses, and hope that maybe you can start up a more appealing conversation later on.

The last option requires timing and patience. You have to wait until the right moment. You need to make sure everyone in the room is completely zoned out of what you’re saying. Wait for the exact instant when nobody is making eye contact with you, end your sentence, pause, and say…

“And then Steve fucking STABBED the guy!”

All heads will rise. All eyes will open. Jaws will drop. The best thing you can do at this point is just shake your head and whisper, “Crazy…” and walk away. You’ll leave the audience confused, but most importantly they’ll all wish that they had been listening to your boring story because it had a hell of an ending.

This is an awesome post from The Tipping Glass

Steve Stabbed the Guy!